When Does This Get Easier?

Dear Baby girl,
You are doing so well in school!  All the teachers are very impressed with how easily you are adjusting.  We are getting good reports about you smiling, napping and drinking all your bottles.  We are so proud, Quinn! 

It is still hard for your daddy and I, but we are hopeful that it will get better.  It is times like these that I look to your Mom Mom, Grammy, and some of my friends who have balanced work and motherhood.  I have more respect for them than ever before - because this is hard.  

I am lucky to have so many strong women to look up to - and I have to remember that part of the reason we are doing this is so you can have the same thing when you are older and ready to pursue a career of your own.   

I enjoy my job very much, but please believe that my whole office is covered in pictures of you and that I am out the door at 4:59 and running across the city as fast as I can to pick you up.  I feel like I can hardly breathe until I see your little face and can hold you in my arms. The smile you give me when I walk in the door is the best part of my day. 

It helps (a little) to know that you are learning and being stimulated.  We know this because you are totally exhausted.  Last night you came home, ate and then went to bed immediately afterwards - at 7 o'clock.  

I wish you would stay awake longer.  An hour a day is not enough time.  Last night your Daddy and I hung out with you and watched you sleep for awhile, but it just isn't the same.  I miss you so much, Quinn.    

I don't want to end this post on a sad note, so here is a video of me tickling your feet: 

And some photos: 

 Your friend Anna is going to be in your class very soon!

Quinn and Anna out on the town

Quinn and Benny!

 

Playing at school 

I love you, little one!

Daycare: Day One

Dear Baby,
Today was your very first day of "school."  I think that you were nervous, or could sense our anxiety, because you woke up at 5 am and never went back to sleep.  

We fed and dressed you, and by 7 o'clock we were on our way.  My sweet little Quinn, leaving you with strangers was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do.  For your part, there were no tears shed - but I cannot say the same for myself.  

I made your daddy late for work because he did not want to leave me crying on the street.  He was strong as usual, but just as upset to leave you there. We were very, very sad.

I missed you terribly all day long, but was proud of myself for only calling twice to check on you.

All the teachers said you did very well, especially for your first day. I am not surprised that you took it in stride. You are a very impressive little person. 

I can't believe we have to do it all over again tomorrow and the next day, and the day after that. The general consensus is that it gets easier and I certainly hope that is the case. 

This seems like it has been the longest day of my life.  Both of us are exhausted, which is why I am writing this post on my phone, in bed, at 8 o'clock.

Last night you screamed through the Superbowl, utterly refusing to go to sleep. Tonight you drifted off within moments of being placed in your bassinet, nearly an hour earlier than usual. 

I hope you sleep well in preparation for another big day tomorrow.  I'm sure I will knowing that you are right beside me where you belong. 

Goodnight, my love. 

 

A familiar face, my Seahorse!

The Next Chapter

Dear Quinn,
It's very late and I should be getting some sleep, but I am trying to prevent this night from ending.  On Friday my maternity leave ends, so tomorrow is my very last day home with you. 

As heartbroken as I am at the moment, I have to smile when I think about how amazing the last three months have been.  During my pregnancy I had many moments of trepidation about taking care of a baby around the clock, but you have made it such a pleasure. At the time I didn't know that attending to your needs would never seem like a chore. I didn't expect you to be so easy to love - and that everything we do, from soothing you in the middle of the night to changing your dirty diapers, would be done with joy and gratitude.  Nothing in my life could have prepared me for being your mom.  I never knew that you would have so much to teach me.  I never expected that you would consume my mind, expand my heart and sharpen my sense of humor.  Before your arrival we thought that having you would make us poor, but instead you have made our lives incredibly rich. 

As our special time comes to an end, it comforts me to know that I made the most of it and will always have beautiful memories to treasure.  Moving forward I have to focus on the fact that going back to work is what is best for our little family - and for you - in the long run.  You make me proud every day - and I know that we are strong enough to take the next step and start a new adventure. 

As sad as I am right now, I am also very grateful - because truly, baby girl, every day with you has been a gift.

Time Hurries On

Dear Mischief,

The long-awaited autumn is officially upon us.  It's 52 degrees in Philadelphia and there is chili simmering on the stove.  I'm snuggled up in the only sweatshirt that still fits me with a mug of (decaf) tea and a pile of ginger snaps.  As I look out the window at the still-green leaves, I wonder if they'll be brown by the time you make your appearance.

You are up to your old tricks again, Mischief!  Because you had your first ultrasound at a different hospital, the doctors aren't sure if we should expect you on the 18th or the 30th.

Either way, I think it's finally safe to say that we are officially ready for you.

Your daddy and I have been spending our nights taking classes, putting your stuff together, cleaning the apartment, decorating your room and doing teeny, tiny, adorable loads of laundry.  

Daddy putting your crib together

On Friday, my co-workers threw a party for me and another woman in the office who is also expecting her first baby.  We had cake and snacks, and believe it or not- more gifts!  They generously provided the last couple of items on your baby registry.  It was so nice!

Work Shower!

My pregnant buddy!

It's been wonderful to share this experience with someone I see every day.  And because we live in the same neighborhood, we take the subway and then walk (or waddle) home together.  She is also expecting a baby girl - a little friend for you!

Everyone at my job has been incredibly supportive during this pregnancy.  My boss has told me that if we don't get daycare right away, I can work from home or even bring you with me to the office for a couple of days.  

Speaking of work, here you are with the President of the University of Pennsylvania. 

(I'm including this in your application to the Class of 2034!)

She is a scholar with 16 books to her name and a visionary leader who has done great things, not only for the University and the city, but for people all over the globe.  She is also a mother with a daughter of her own. 

There are a lot of powerful women in this world, and no limit to what you choose to do with your life.  Always remember that, Mischief! 

Luckily, you'll have plenty of amazing examples around to remind you - even in your own family!  Just yesterday, your Mom-mom took me on one last shopping trip to the baby store.  I didn't need that much stuff (not that it prevented us from coming home with loads of it), but mainly just wanted to spend some time with her.  I hope you'll feel the same way about me someday. 

As for your Daddy and I, we are ready to spend some time with you.  As the days go by, we get more and more excited to meet you.  Come join us, little one!

(If there is anyone reading this who has any idea when this baby will arrive, please enter your guess in the Baby Pool link in the right hand column)

"Time hurries on, and the leaves that are green turn to brown" - Simon and Garfunkel

Bermuda Babymoon

Dear Mischief,
The day after your baby shower, we had to wake up super early to head to Bermuda.  It wasn't difficult to get out of bed, because you kept me awake all night for the very first time.  I couldn't blame you though, you had an exciting day, and you were about to go on your very first airplane ride.

You did great on the plane, and in two short hours we were in Bermuda.

Our Hotel: The Fairmont Southhampton

Our first day there, your Daddy got some great news - he got a raise and a promotion!  I was so proud of him and we immediately went out to celebrate all the wonderful things we have going on in our life together.

Dad's flight of Bermuda-brewed beers

Someday you will appreciate how hard he works, and you will always know that he is going to do his best to take care of you.  Every day in Bermuda he got picked up for work at 7 a.m., while you and I got to sleep as long as we wanted. We made it our little tradition to start each day with breakfast on the balcony overlooking the ocean.

The view

After that, we got dressed and headed to the beach:

Here you are on the beach!

 In the afternoons, we had lunch by the pool.

Avian lunch date...

All this downtime gave me plenty of time to read some non-baby related books.  Sorry, Mischief, but one can only read so much What to Expect When You're Expecting, Dr. Sear's Baby Book and Happiest Baby on the Block. 

We also took a day trip to explore Hamilton, the capital city of Bermuda.

Ferry ride to Hamilton

Sightseeing in Hamilton

We ended every day with a fancy dinner with daddy after he got home from work.

It was such a great trip and very relaxing for your momma.  But even though the island was beautiful, I was eager to come back home and continue preparing for your arrival.

Thanks for keeping me company, little girl!  I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did, because if your father and I ever make it to an island again, I can't guarantee that we'll be bringing you along.

Don't worry, though- we promise to always get you a souvenir!